I'm continually amazed that this is still here. Not sure why.

The term ends in just about two weeks. While I'm still up in the air about committing to the Summer project, I'll be very glad to hit a bit of a soft spell when it comes to my reading.

It's been rewarding, if not a little maddening. The move to UW Madison is looking like a better and better thing, especially since my status will remain unchanged. That was more nerve-wracking than anything else, thinking that I may have to come up with the money for grad school and get more student loans.

It does mean tacking about a year of time onto the process but I'm not too broken up about that. I've been enjoying the process for the most part, and now that I have a bit more of credibility in the department, it means things are easier all around.

The next two weeks though...damn.

I was a little surprised when my mother visited last week that she was traveling with a bible. I don't know why I found it so different, it's just that my mother hasn't really struck me as a religious person over the past several years.

Her conversion to Mormonism when I was younger was really abrupt. She was never a religious person before the missionaries came to visit, but suddenly everything was about God the Father.

I could rant on and on about my experience with the Mormons, but that's not really the point of this entry. It's good enough to say that the Mormons were what changed me from an Agnostic to an Atheist.

I asked mom a bit about her current beliefs, and it turns out that she joined a Unitarian Universalist church when she moved back to CT. She said that it gave her a sense of calm, peace and well being and that she was very happy with it. I was happy for her, that she found something to give her such goodwill. I had some discourse with it, sure...but I'm not going to argue religion with my mother.

What it did though is really get me curious about all of the more bizarre facets of the Mormon faith. I've always felt that it was just a repackaged Masonic thing, but I'd never really devoted all that much time into it.

All Glory be to the Internet.

Man...some of the stuff I've been reading (if even slightly true) is REALLY odd. I mean, most of this stuff I already knew or had heard of, but now that some of the more "sacred" temple rights are online...wow...just wow.

It's got me all fired up to dig deeper, find more really twisted secrets.

It's been a stressful week. All sorts of things have seemed to fall, not just for me, but for just about everyone I know.

I went to the market to get a bunch of things for my mother. She had a list you see.

I was going through isle after isle, looking for this particular hand soap she wanted, and I came upon this kid's liquid soap pump. It was clear and it had this little plastic tiger that looked like it was holding onto the pump-stem. Just a little plastic tiger.

I saw this before somewhere. This or something very much like it, the little orange tiger.

I stood there looking at this plastic tiger...and I just started crying.

I have no idea where it was coming from, I have no idea why it hit me like it did...but I was just standing in the middle of the market, bawling like a baby and starting at this plastic tiger in a soap-pump.

An older couple was down the isle from me and looked concerned. I've been told I'm not the most "approachable" looking guy, so it probably took more than a little courage for the woman to put her hand on my shoulder and ask me if I was ok.

It sort of snapped me out of it. I thanked her, told her I was alright and that I was just having an off week. She smiled and told me, "you're allowed".

Word must have gotten around about the weird big guy who was crying in the soap isle, because the cashier stared at me oddly as he checked me out.

I went to the car and it was all over.

Still don't know where I recall that tiger from.

Looks like Mom has some pretty good timing this go 'round. I'm sick.

Last night I went to bed with hella-nasty stomach cramps. This morning I had my soy and my coffee...and it all came back up. Now I'm in that dry-heave place where you keep trying to expel offensive material but nothing is left.

I'm thankful that I've got Cara in these days. She's extremely competent and dedicated and I don't feel terrible about leaving her here by herself. I hate to leave, especially after I took two days off last week, but I'm useless sitting here right now. That, and I know Cara has a vomit-phobia. She can't stand to see it, smell it or hear someone in the process of yakking. (Do not ask me how I know this)

MY mother is coming to visit this week. In part she wants to visit the boys. The other reason being she wants to help me with the boys while Jo is in hype-show mode.

My wife disappears this week for about 10-12 days. I'll be lucky to see her for about 15min. in the mornings for the next two weeks.

So mom thinks I need help with the boys while she's busy.

Not that I mind so much, but I wish it was just her saying she wanted to visit the boys rather than she wants to "help" me with them. I dunno why, but it grates on my nerves for some reason. She has reason. Her mother has MS and now her son has MS...she worries. She seems to think me feeble at times. I know I have limitations, but I'm also a grown man who can tell when those limits are reached and how to adapt and adjust my workload or activity to suit.

It's not like she's saying, "You can't do this by yourself", but that's the way it feels.

Suck it up, move on.

First thing I hear this morning when I wake up is that Kurt Vonnegut has died.

Fuck.

Yes, this is a part of getting older, one's heroes have a nasty tendency of dying on you.

I'm not going to launch into some long-winded ramble about how much his books meant to me or what they helped me through...it's enough to say he was important to me.

Go read some of his work this weekend. It doesn't matter what. Just do it.

I saw this picture the other day of this mech that's shooting his load out of his crotch. Something like a dozen or so missiles, all with anime contrails flying out all over the place.

The words "Rocket Crotch" got fixed in my head, burned in my brain...and I've been periodically going back to it ever since. It falls off the tongue so very easily and just makes me happy.

Rocket Crotch.

What a great fucking name for a band.

Well, in the effort to actually DO something again, I thought I'd give this a try one last time.

Hosting my own stuff was a huge PITA considering everything else I was doing at this time.

So who knows...maybe I'll give it a whirl and see if anything goes flying off into the night.

I can be found at:

newfreedonia.com

Still getting worked on, though...so be gentle.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Jim Henson

2. Where was your first kiss?
On the mouth

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
Oh...oh yeah.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Nope.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
Unfortunately.

6. What's the first thing you notice about the preferred sex?
Eyes probably.

7. What really turns you on?
My wife

8. What do you order at Starbucks?
Coffee

9. What is your biggest mistake?
Upping with LJ

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
When I was a kid, yeah.

11. Say something totally random about yourself.
I like cheese.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yeah. When I was younger and had a full beard, I was told I looked like Christ. Mind you, I was much thinner then.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
As I have kids, I have an excuse.

14. Did you have braces?
Yep, and they butchered me.

15. Are you comfortable with your height?
I guess. I was pretty tall at an early age and it was sort of weird.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Not telling.

17. When do you know it's love?
You just do.

18. Do you speak any other languages?
Speak...no, not well. Read, yes.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
Nope.

20. What magazines do you read?
Sports Illustrated, TIME, Newsweek, WIRED...

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yep.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yep.

23. Do you watch MTV?
Nope

24. What's something that really annoys you?
Telemarketers

25. What's something you really like?
My wife and kids.

26. Do you like michael jackson?
Nope.

27. Can you dance?
Nope.

28. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
I've done 40 hour shifts.

29. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
Oh yeah, a few times.

30. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
Oh yeah, a few times.

31. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Sometimes.

Spellsword 77% Combativeness, 40% Sneakiness, 79% Intellect, 36% Spirituality

Aggressive, but with the brains to back it up: You are a Spellsword! Score! You have a prestige class. A prestige class can only be taken after you�ve fulfilled certain requirements. This may mean that you're an exceptionally talented person, but it probably doesn't. Spellswords combine arcane might with combat know-how. They're much tougher than mages, like to wear armor, and can cast spells through their weapons. They're very, very, good at doing lots of damage to a single target very quickly, and while not quite as tough as most fighters, are still pretty hard to kill. You're both smart and aggressive, which means that you're probably pretty dangerous when pissed off. You also tend to be somewhat straightforward, which is nice, and don�t have much use for spirituality or mysticism.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 85% on Combativeness You scored higher than 64% on Sneakiness You scored higher than 71% on Intellect You scored higher than 35% on Spirituality

Link: The RPG Class Test written by MFlowers on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Great, so I reup with LJ after a year being gone...and I get comment SPAM?

Yeah, now I begin to recall why I left LJ in the first place.

That's me, then.

It's Sept. 20th for Jeebus sake!

New windows get installed this week. Hopefully, this will cut down on the outrageous heating bills this winter. This was a lot easier before we had kids and never turned the damn heat on.

***

Benny seems to be coming down with what we all had last week. Lovely. I hate it when my boys get sick. I'd much rather be sick for them.

***

Looks like the shop had a really good weekend. 'Bout time.

I really hope this is the "sick for the season". If I have another 3 days like this in the next 4 months, I'm taking a hostage.

Apparently my fever got so bad the other night that I was delirious and screaming, "DON'T LET THEM TAKE THE BABIES!" Out of my fucking skull, man. When Jo brought the baby to me, I wouldn't let go of him and told her to keep "them" away. Scared the hell out of Ben as well.

She didn't want to tell me this yesterday, not wanting to upset me. I discovered it this morning.

I think I'll be calling the good old Doc this morning to see if my meds or condition aren't partially to blame here.

***

Feel like I've been a little more than a rock a work the past few days. I'm feeling more human this morning to I hope to be able to make up for some lost time. With my luck, there will be a load of new orders and a dead database. Always seems to be the way when I really need to get stuff done.

Great...first the baby...then Jo...now me.

Feckin' great.

OK, so you're young...you live with your folks, you just lost one job....why do you continue to fuck up at your other job, the one that is going to increase your hours and try to help you out....

OK, a step back.

I really do like all of the guys who work at the shop. But sometimes I'm reminded...they're kids. Well...most of them are.

I've got one kid working for me that is really aces. Sure, he needs a reminder once and again, but nothing too terrible or over the limit. He tends to make up for it, takes initiative, etc...


This other kid...I dunno. I think it's just getting down to a matter of time before I have to pull the trigger on him. I really don't want to, but there's got to be a limit. When the other guys mention stuff, you know it's gotten bad. They are way more relaxed and laid back than I am.

SO do you ax a guy who just lost his other job or do you string him along to get you through the Holidays, hoping he'll shape up.

Sucks either way.

Jo had to make a banzi run down to North Chicago last night to pick up a set they bought for a show they're doing later in the school year. A foam nightmare for Forum.

OK, I shouldn't say nightmare, it was actually quite a cool set all told, but there was an...off quality to it. It was trying to be something it wasn't, and it was not a comfortable mix.

Anyway, we got there early with the truck and saw the strike crew mingle in front of the theatre for a bit. A bunch of local University theatre students.

The strike was somewhat organized. The electrics crew got right to work without fanfare...then the riggers made the scene.

Now, the entire portion of the set that we need (made of foam) has been rigged to their box grid via welded angle iron and rebar.

The set to getting this stuff out of the air, grinding down the tack-welds holding it and dropping it via a series of lines. So far so good, right? Except that no one really told them it had to be "saved".

See, most houses when they strike a set...they just rip it out. Most all of it gets tossed, and thus, getting it down/apart isn't really a big deal.

So these guys get told while they're in the air that this stuff has to be treated gently. Um...OK.

The first piece took them about an hour to figure out, and even then they chopped it once it was on the deck. We moved in to try to preserve subsequent pieces, but with the jerky method they were dropping them and all...it was not all that easy.

Not to mention, we were the visiting team. I hate to step on a TDs toes in their own house...but oh...their TD took off to go get another piece from their shop. Yep, just pretty much walked out on his own strike. (He was a nice guy, to be fair, and I had hoped he would have stayed around as he seemed to grok the process better than the riggers and kids doing the drops)

Anyway, we got the thing loaded and drove it back down to the school. Minor breakage in transit, but sort of to be expected with a foam set.

As I lay in bed last night thinking about the whole evening, I realized I don't miss it. I thought I would, you see. Strikes were most often like parties when I used to do them on a regular basis. We worked, but it was a really social event. Always something to be enjoyed.

Now these kids, they seemed to be enjoying themselves. You heard all of the guys trying to pick up on all of the girls, them laughing in none-too-subtile ways, rebuffing yet urging them on all at the same time. They were having fun.

I felt more like an interloper. It's been awhile...

But ultimately, it served to remind me that I was in a "better" place. I didn't miss it, I didn't get all misty eyed about it, I just did the job and that was that.

It was fun hanging out with Jo all night. That's something I can never get enough of.

1 post in a year and I get inundated by questions and emails...

You know...I have another blog...that I don't update.

Perhaps this would be better?